I’m still finding it hard to accept.
Albert (my black branded-something laptop) is on its last legs, if it had any. Albert is about four years old which is perhaps ancient for any brand of technology and for the last four months he has been freezing, the computer-form of Alzheimer’s. He was already on life-support, the form of power point dependency. I took him to the doc’s (World of Warcraf-playing ITers) who took Albert apart, put him back together and shook their heads.
“There is nothing we can do.” There was no cure for old age, all I could was prolong my laptop’s life. I bought an external mouse and avoided touching the touch-mouse (leaning on or using resulted in a freeze), this helped for a few months but then Albert had an aversion to the letter “B” on my keyboard. Pressing this key resulted again in freezing. I wondered why “B?” Was there some traumatic experience Albert had occurred with the letter “B”, or was it obscure to believe that a computer had some sort of internal thought/desire/life?
Avoid the B’s. No bodacious, brown boobs or brawny bums. It was bullshit. Albert was dictating my story-writing and online scrolling with on-going freezing and I became hateful towards the old, grumpy decaying bastard. I tried to respect my elder laptop-brick just as I had in the past with other grey-haired devices. I once used a disc-man for a year, refusing to buy a new one even though it had a bit of wiring jabbing out of the side, was sticky-tapped together and the next button did not work. I also continued to use an old Nokia phone even though it fallen on a cement ground (tragic accident at a pub) and the colours on the screen were mixing together. Ah, abstract.
I have a problem with letting go, or maybe I’m just really stingy and cannot embrace new technology and follow the mantra “if it’s not broke why fix it?” Unfortunately this opinion leads me to a hatred of the elder-technology, waiting for it to die completely before I think that I should buy a new thing to replace it.
The days are getting shorter for Albert, his breaths are getting thinner. Although he still turns on and sometimes works, I have to accept that it’s time for a replacement. Time for something new, shiny, lighter, has a battery and likes the letter “B”.
(Typed on a university computer)