Merry Mayhem on Lip

Whoopa! It’s that time of the year people. Round your reindeers together and not drink egg nog! I wrote an article which appeared on Lip about the silly season. You can read the entire ramble on the site which I recommend coz it’s full of name-dropping philosophers about materialism and stoof. If you read it you will be helping me feel like my HECS fees in the arts is worth it.. There’s a snippet below. Merry Christmas y’all!

Merry Mayhem: Does Christmas have to mean mayhem?

Welcome to Christmas, the home of retail hell. Forget “merry” and “jolly” – the best words to describe retail shopping during Christmas are “run in and get the hell out!” Fluorescent lights, a shit-load of customers with their trollies overloaded with red and green napkins, bon-bons and other Christmas paraphernalia, and undoubtedly a snotty-nosed child squished underneath all of it. If the child isn’t having a tantrum yet then they will be very soon and the mother will join in when she discovers that the 12 pack of toilet paper on special has sold out. The carols playing on loop are the ticking time bomb, “Santa Claus is coming to town” and the family need that 12 pack of toilet paper to accommodate all of the visiting relatives and the crap that comes with them.

As a supermarket check-out chick, swiping your groceries through and smiling politely when listening to yet another customer complaint is just a part of my job. During Christmas time – dubbed “the silly season” for a good reason – tension is amplified and the supermarket environment becomes an arena for customers to test their prehistoric bear-fighting skills, a near fight to the death for the last sacred box of frozen croissants. Hiding under the counter during these times is a good option for one’s own safety.

I know that working in a supermarket gives me a biased perception of customers during Christmas time. Perhaps if I did some volunteer work I would see the giving and kindred side of humanity rather than monkey-hysteria where customers are desperate to fulfil a sort of TV advertisement fantasy.

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